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Dating Someone With Bipolar Disorder
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Gain Knowledge Knowledge is power, so learn as much as you can about your partner's disease.
This will also be a healthy sign to him or her that you care. That being said, bipolar disorder is a complex disease, so try not to get too bogged down in the details. Separate the Person from the Disease It is important when you are dating someone with bipolar disorder to recognize that their disease is a piece of their life pie, and not their whole identity. That being said, to a large degree, a person's bipolar disorder contributes significantly to their behavior, personality, and relationships. With that, you do have to learn to love the whole package, so to speak.
Discuss Major Topics Whether or not you are dating someone with bipolar disorder, it's important to discuss major topics, when you are both ready. Venues like festivals, raves, and other places that invite impulsive behavior are where the disordered can congregate and not be detected.
Robin Williams was a famous example of mania. He was able to channel it into humor. On the flip side is depression. When in relationship with a depressive individual life can feel infuriating and frustrating. Therefore, anger—a mobilizing emotion—is a survival response that gets elicited in the partner who is not disordered. A few common reactions to being with a depressive person is to flight, fight, or freeze. The most common treatment for bi-polar disorder is medication and talk therapy. There are many reasons that inspire falling in love with someone with this disorder.
Suffice to say this is a complicated disorder that has both emotional and physical ramifications. When in relationship with someone with this disorder it can feel like being a border guard always on patrol or high alert.
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It takes a high caliber of self-control to regulate situations. You avoid single life. You could be lying to yourself. There could be something deeper.
Maybe you like the benefits you get from dating, such as sex, but you fear getting too close to men. But is it worth it? You always end up alone and back to the dating drawing board. You can become desperate. When autumn rolls around, you start looking for someone to spend cuffing season with. Sadly, I became emotionally paralyzed and unable to leave my home on my own for months. It was a scary time. I lived in a state of continuous fear and discomfort, completely isolated from the outside world. It was shocking how quickly my life had changed.
Seemingly overnight I transformed from a thriving college student—with a bright future—to a housebound prisoner of my own mind. The agoraphobia was fueled by the concern of having another panic attack in public. Weekly therapy, endless doctor visits and tests, daily mental health education, and an obsession with getting better became my new normal. Suddenly, my entire life became about saving it. Anxiety, Depression, and Heartbreak During this difficult time, I continued dating my college boyfriend. Before my diagnosis, we had a normal and exciting relationship—I thought of him as my best friend.
My diagnosis, however, took us both by surprise. We tried to do the long-distance thing but the adjustment was tough. One day happily walking through life together; the next torn apart by an undeniable challenge that at the time seemed impossible to understand. He watched helplessly as I tried to fight for a life that no longer had a heartbeat. Feeling as though I had lost everything—except him—I leaned into that love even harder. I held onto him like a safe harbor in the eye of the storm. Eight months into my recovery my worst fear came true when he ended our relationship. My mental health continued to plummet, even more rapidly than before.
What was already heavy got heavier and the bandwidth of my pain expanded into depression and worsening anxiety. Losing him meant losing the last sliver of a former life. There was no going back.